Monterey Bay Salmon & Trout Project

Roller Coasters Don’t Just Exist on the Boardwalk
By Mary Hermansky, Volunteer Coordinator

A full blast of wind blew as I picked up the morning paper. Fishing boats bobbed on the silvery chop (who else would be OUT THERE AT 7 A.M.?!). A chill unrecognizable during summer alerted my senses.

Without a doubt Fall had arrived. Other symptoms of the onset of Fall have been evident as well. My monthly volunteer schedule has been punctuated with personnel changes or a “not available” for a stretch of time. And What’s With That? To answer an obvious question, name a creek, river, bay, or even a different state and you’ll find my fish-feeders, intake cleaners, temperature recorders and “mort” counters.

Once in a while, they even find leaks! Playing “HOOKY” is what it’s called! Of course there are different perspectives for that word. Scrambling to fill the void, the drama begins. Action, pathos, exhilarating highs! Yes! The life of a Volunteer Coordinator is never far from the extremes on the emotion meter (maybe I should drink less coffee!).

Anyway, we begin filling these blank calendar days by calling our most dependable volunteers….and Saint Bruce is always a good start! But sometimes Saint Bruce is busy being saintly somewhere else. As is Mondy! They use The Season to introduce and teach new little anglers at local park ponds. Next I call Bob & Marge, our bee-keepers. We call them the “Bizzy Buzzy Bodies”. (Cute!) And if they’re bozzy- I mean bizzy, I call Samantha who might be at Jerry’s but I leave a message anyway, and then I call Jerry’s and leave a message.

Of course I could be talking about Bob & Christine (it’s a couple thing). Anyway, it all makes sense because Samantha shows up! Yes! Ladies! We have a few of our own chromosome mix in the worm-bucket too! Yum! Don’t we all smell good! By the way, that oily smell under the fingernails, HOW DO YOU GET RID OF IT? Signed, Desperate!

My point is this:

the life of a volunteer can spice up any life being dulled by poor script-writing! The volunteer emotion meter spans the spectrum without the help of the latest Claude Van Damm movie or a sighting of Fabio. It can rip through any number of layers acquired during the last 5 seasons of The Sopranos! Self-worth becomes your mantra. Your dreams will come true. Hi, my name is Bill Gates and I’m here to tell you about “World Healing”.

Well, maybe my meter’s been rocked a little too much! (Or could it be the coffee?) Again, even with fish food accidentally emptying into your new Saucony sneakers, or discovering that big brown spider in the outhouse, or being tormented by JUST TOO MANY LEAVES IN THE INTAKE, the effects are STUPENDOUS! Ask Neil. And “Jerry-O”, we’re waiting for your return! And now, I need to tap into my Participation Meter which measures my last newsletter request for odes, jokes, or limericks of “Fish Lore & Lies”. (Half-a-second later…)

The results of my Participation Meter remind me of the need to be resourceful. Therefore, you will suffer through my selection of humor! A canny young fisher named Fisher Once fished from the edge of a fissure. A fish with a grin Pulled the fisherman in…. Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher!

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